So I just caught a very interesting segment on City Line (Family Show) today. Host Tracy Moore spoke with comedian/author Jessica Holmes (you may know her best from her skit comedy show Royal Canadian Air Farce) and after watching it I feel really inspired. Not to mention, I also feel a little less crazy. Jessica has a new book out titled, 'I Love Your Laugh, Finding the Light in My Screwball Life'. On the show today she discussed topics in her book where she speaks about being a new Mom and the pressures of outside opinions and from other Mom's and the dreaded "Mommy Circles". One of the chapters in her book is jokingly titled, 'I Was the Perfect Mom (and Then I Had Kids)'.
The gist of the conversation was basically Jessica describing her experiences with the dreaded opinionated mother's out there and how she actually bought into a lot of it to the detriment of her family. She explained that, probably due to her comedy background, she had a fairly laid back approach to parenting, but when she was confronted with certain opinions she felt she had to conform and change her style to reflect those around her. Jessica recounted an experience of how another mother told her that her daughter was too old to be using a bottle. When Jessica got home that night she took the bottle away from her daughter and there were water works all around (even her husband was not impressed).
Jessica and Relationship Therapist, Dr. Karyn Gordon, went on to discuss how now-a-days women are becoming our own bully's and that it's time to break the silence. Too often we feel we have to be super woman and live up to other people's ideas of motherhood. If you are secure in your parenting style then that is awesome, but leave at that. Don't shove your opinions down other people's throats because we as women carry that with us and feel like we need to live up to those standards and definitions. The list of mommy/parenting debates is endless (i.e. cloth vs regular diapers, breast vs bottle, sippy cups, self soothing, homemade vs store bought food, sign language...and on and on and on). It's enough to make a first timer wanna check herself into a padded room. And with 10-20% of women experiencing Post Partum Depression is there any wonder why they wouldn't??
Tracy told an amusing story about her experiences in the mommy circles. She said how she only spoke to a couple other women at her's because all of the others where too busy comparing each others child and going off on opinionated tirades. She actually spoke of a woman who insisted her 6 week old said 'I love you'. I'm sorry but give me a fucking break.
It's easy to stay away from the blogs, posts, and mommy circles that don't nuture or build up our confidence as mothers but quite another obstacle if you have these dreaded creatures in your family or circle-of-friends. I guess my best advice is to try and keep a stiff upper lip but at the end of the day don't be afraid to speak up for yourself and defend your position as a mom either because you have something to be proud of and the way you are doing things is amazing.
What it all comes down to for me is just what Jessica said so eloquently...I'm a mother but I'm a woman first!
P.S. 39 weeks today! I can't wait to finally meet you Baby #2!
The gist of the conversation was basically Jessica describing her experiences with the dreaded opinionated mother's out there and how she actually bought into a lot of it to the detriment of her family. She explained that, probably due to her comedy background, she had a fairly laid back approach to parenting, but when she was confronted with certain opinions she felt she had to conform and change her style to reflect those around her. Jessica recounted an experience of how another mother told her that her daughter was too old to be using a bottle. When Jessica got home that night she took the bottle away from her daughter and there were water works all around (even her husband was not impressed). Jessica and Relationship Therapist, Dr. Karyn Gordon, went on to discuss how now-a-days women are becoming our own bully's and that it's time to break the silence. Too often we feel we have to be super woman and live up to other people's ideas of motherhood. If you are secure in your parenting style then that is awesome, but leave at that. Don't shove your opinions down other people's throats because we as women carry that with us and feel like we need to live up to those standards and definitions. The list of mommy/parenting debates is endless (i.e. cloth vs regular diapers, breast vs bottle, sippy cups, self soothing, homemade vs store bought food, sign language...and on and on and on). It's enough to make a first timer wanna check herself into a padded room. And with 10-20% of women experiencing Post Partum Depression is there any wonder why they wouldn't??
Tracy told an amusing story about her experiences in the mommy circles. She said how she only spoke to a couple other women at her's because all of the others where too busy comparing each others child and going off on opinionated tirades. She actually spoke of a woman who insisted her 6 week old said 'I love you'. I'm sorry but give me a fucking break.
It's easy to stay away from the blogs, posts, and mommy circles that don't nuture or build up our confidence as mothers but quite another obstacle if you have these dreaded creatures in your family or circle-of-friends. I guess my best advice is to try and keep a stiff upper lip but at the end of the day don't be afraid to speak up for yourself and defend your position as a mom either because you have something to be proud of and the way you are doing things is amazing.
What it all comes down to for me is just what Jessica said so eloquently...I'm a mother but I'm a woman first!
P.S. 39 weeks today! I can't wait to finally meet you Baby #2!
http://www.citytv.com/cityline/show/micro/episode/119562--march-23-2011
http://www.jessicaholmes.com/index.html
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