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Thursday, March 17, 2011

PRENATAL APPOINTMENTS FROM HELL!!!!


Ok, so I fucking forgot how much I hate this particular period of pregnancy. Not the backache, sleepless nights, small bladder, etc. etc. But something quite more annoying. THE FUCKING WAITING ROOMS AT THE OBGYN's OFFICE!!!

Let me break down some descriptions of the 'usual suspects'. We have a few annoying ass wipes to go through so we'll go down the list individually.

First we have what I like to call 'Annoying Clingy Husband'. He likes to make mindless small talk with his equally irritating wife and nervously kick his crossed leg in the air, thus turning my seat beside him into some kind of pseudo rocking chair. But it was my understanding that rocking chairs are meant to be comfortable and relaxing...this my friends is NOT! He does not pick up on subtle hints that he is being annoying as fuck until you have to physically get up and move to another seat for a little respite.

Next we have the seat shifters. These are the morons that are never satisfied with their seat and have to move to what they deem as better "real estate" in the waiting room neighbourhood...every fucking five minutes!!! Do you really think the closest seat is gonna get you in to see the Doc any faster?? I mean REALLY??

Next we have the one's who think they missed hearing their name get called so they have to go up to the receptionist every two seconds to "just make sure". Take an anti-anxiety pill and sit the fuck down! They also like to know how many patients are ahead of them. Because really, the receptionist has time to keep track of where the hell you are in line??

Then we have the huffers and sighers. They are prone to always being exasperated and have to let you and the rest of the waiting room know it. Combined with this they suffer with ADHD and have to riffle through their purse for lip balm, or chewing gum, or their precious crack berry. And make no mistake, they will verbalize their disgust at the wait time, how sore they are, how tired they are, how hungry they are...you get the picture.

News Flash!!!! You and the other 50 pregnant women in here are sore, tired, and hungry and have been waiting 3hrs before finally being seen by just the nurse. But some of us do things to try and cope without waiving our misery in other peoples faces!! For instance, some of us bring reading materials (and NO...reading your Facebook Wall doesn't count), snacks, and try to remember that we aren't animals in a God damn zoo!!!

What gets me through it all? Knowing that at the end of a day like today I get to come home and see my smiling happy little boy who is still innocent and oblivious to all of this madness. And all he wants to do is show me his newest dance moves and get smiles and cuddles in return.

Now that I've got that off my chest I feel much better. Next appointment is Monday, 8:45am sharp. I'm going to bed. Night y'all.

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